Jen's Blog

By the way...

Today I turned 24. That sounds so old to me. Not old for someone else but old for me. I guess sometimes I feel like I think a 24 year old should feel... when I think about all the experiences I've had, the things I've learned, the things I've done. But other times I feel like I'm 6, 12, 16, 18. I guess all those ages are still in me and sometimes they come out. When I turned 21 and I had just gotten married a few months earlier, I started to feel old. I thought 21 sounded so old. That's when I started wishing to be younger, not older. I went right from wishing I was 21 so I could go to "21 and over" dance clubs to wishing I was younger again. Never was just happy to be where I was. I guess that's human nature. So maybe I'll decide to be happy being 24 this year since I can't change my age anyway.



I remember being like 3 years old and my voice in my mind when I talked to myself in my head or read in my head was the voice of an adult. And I always thought of myself as sort of an adult in a child's body who was pretending to be a child because that was my job at this point in my life. I knew how to speak correctly but I spoke more babytalk-ish because it seemed like what I was supposed to do. I believe our spirits are young adults when we enter this world and young adults when we leave this world. Our bodies just change. So now that I've reached an age that I once thought of as pretty old and I still feel the same, I think of older people in a different light. I realize that you learn and grow as you age but sometimes you still feel like that 6 year old or that 16 or 24 year old. They're all inside you. Think about that next time you look at your parents! It's kinda interesting.

posted by *Jen* @ 1:29 PM